Phantom Ache

I may be composed
I may look like I’m doing well
I may go on with my daily life
I may laugh at jokes
I may smile when I’m around people

I may seem like everything is alright.
Things may not be what they seem
Lingering within is the phantom ache

I may not be breaking down
I may not be an emotional mess
I may not have my life on pause
I may not cry all the time
I may not have a frown upon my face.

I may seem like everything is alright
Things may not be what they seem
Lingering within is the phantom ache

*Written after the recent death of my father.

My Prayer To God Almighty

This is my prayer
To my holy savior
I need your help to save me from myself
I pray
You’ll lead the way
I am so unsure
So insecure
In very choice that I make
You’re the one I do not want to forsake
I need your light
To see what is right
Being in the darkness has taken it’s toll
Dear Lord please save my soul
I am on my knees
seeking your peace
So afraid of stumbling
Everyday I am struggling
I want to serve you
Though I feel I don’t deserve you
Want to do right by the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit
This is my prayer and I hope you hear it.

This was written when I was at a really bad point of my life and I keep it close to remind me of where I was when I was living in the darkness.

Requiem and Resurrection For A Soul

Drink down their poison
Swallow the bitterness
Feel the pain travel
It paralyzes your soul
Scrambling your thoughts
Slowly your spirit dies
A death which can not be seen
No funeral
Your body resides on earth
Yet your soul exists in the realm of darkness
No death certificate
Only emptiness where a soul use to call home

My soul was shrouded in darkness
Choking on the bleakness
Evil taking it’s hold
Nothing gave me no hope
Was being seduced by Satan’s suggestions
No escape in sight
My soul’s funeral
Saw a flicker of light within
Followed where it leads
So much beauteous light waiting to be released
Whispers from God spoke to my broken soul
Reincarnation of a soul that was thought to dead
Light that brought life
A cure for my dying soul that I had within me all along
Light to forever guide my soul away from the dark

(Jan 2007)

Where are my Running Shoes?

I feel I should run,
Run from love,run from pain
Run so I will never hurt again
Runaway,run so fast
Runaway from my past
Run til he can not find me
Run til he is far behind me
Run from his heart
Run before he tears mine apart
Run on home
Run even though I do no want to be alone
Run though I cry
Run though I die inside
Run to keep from feeling
Run and never healing
Run my feet tell me
Run for eternity

(Jan 2005)